Love is not Everything in a Relationship

Love is not Everything in a Relationship
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Written and published by Adebusoye Adeleke, 27th Oct 2018. GMT 02:35 PM
There is nothing quite as electrifying and satisfying as falling in love especially when you've found a partner to spend your life with. But what happens when you start to realize that this man or woman might cause you more sufferings than satisfaction? You've already let yourself get so invested that you even enter the sanctity of marriage. You don't know that it's more painful than you could have imagined.
This was my experience again and again, until I started to see my relationship from a different perspective. Love alone is not enough for a marriage to work. It should be coupled with trust and respect. When you know how to embrace your weaknesses and strengths.
When my marriage failed, I kept on asking myself why it happened? But lately I realized that it's not really because my husband was wrong or I was the one faulted. It's because we never learned to accept ourselves wholeheartedly that we keep on searching from each other to fill that emptiness. For any relationship to work, both parties should be willing to feel and to deal with their ugly feelings.
For having a happy married life, love is not enough. There are still many things that will change your love life entirely. Some people even will take extreme action to prove his love to her due to lack of ability to control his feelings for a woman. Not because they don't understand what is right or wrong, but when the attraction is too strong and they are not mature enough to get themselves in control, chances are they will make mistakes unconsciously because at the moment it just feels right.
Love is not enough for a relationship. What really makes a relationship stronger and sustainable is respect, honesty, truthfulness and win- win,understanding of each other. There are so many events over which we have no control. But being happy isn't something that happens based on how others are doing for you. Happiness starts from within. No matter what happens, you have the control over your life, so, your happiness depends upon your choice even if sometimes we delude ourselves in the common belief that love alone can save or make our relationships work.
The moment you have feelings for someone, nothing matters anymore. All you are concerned about is that you are in love;you are in love of being in love.You don't care about the consequences of your wrong choices and you get hurt every time you go into a relationship, and you still don't learn. The fact of the matter is that you are loving wrongly.
In a functional relationship, love or for want a of a better word emotions is never enough to sustain any relationship. The feeling, the emotions and its results will not make it work. There are more important ingredients that make relationship sustainable of which love is not included. What really makes relationship stronger and sustainable is respect, honesty and truthfulness.
Every good relationship is anchored on win-win situations and have nothing to do with love. Relationship based on win-win situation, means everybody is benefiting from the relationship. At the end of the day, everybody was happy and not one-sided. At the end of the day, every complains was addressed. Every fight was settled. Everybody was satisfied.
If a relationship would not work in the first place, coming back again will not make it better. It's just a waste of time. Just focus on yourself and the people around you who supported and loved you unconditionally like your family and kids. Even if trying to understand, goes a long way to bridge the gap between you and your partner in a more satisfactory manner; patience is required to make the relationship work, and not love.
Strong relationships are built not on love, but built on mutual respect, mutual understanding, sharing private matters when needed.
For any relationship to work, it's important to set some time aside to just be a couple; and spend quality time together regularly, especially during hard times. This doesn't need to involve money; just a walk down the park together or along the beach will help. Just taking yourself out of your home environment will be beneficial and this does not necessarily requires love; just merely mutual understanding.

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